Total Distraction

grrrrrrr.......

Rash? Or Chiggers? All I know is my husband and I went out this weekend to clear a tree that had been fallen for some time. This morning, I was on fire. All down my right side, the right side of my neck, around my right arm, across my belly but not at my belt line, across my chest, tiny bumps that seem to blister but they don't behave like poison ivy. We looked up poison sumac, poison oak, you name it. I still can't figure out what this is. I suspect a major infestation of chiggers but they're not like the ones I've gotten before. They also exhibited some weird white, pus-like stage at one point, like zits except for the itching.
     I do remember clearing some vines from this fallen tree and feeling this dust fall down my side into the sleeve of my shirt, on my head. I thought it was just old pine needles but who knows, maybe I hit nest of chiggers that I dumped down my shirt. I give up. Juts make it stop because if it is chiggers, from past experience, I'm going to be scratching well into October.
     Everything got washed including me, twice. The second showers was an endorphin rush. The hot water hitting all the bumps produced this overwhelming feeling... like, like... well, like the approach to a great orgasm but without the release. Complete anticipation of a great feeling but then... nothing. Awful. So I bathed myself in Calamine lotion and then, it burned. Better than itching, I think.
     It has produced an extreme sense of awareness as in 'I am completely aware of every bump that itches at any given time.' This is no substitute for the yoga I gave up this evening for the agony I'm in at the moment.  I can only hope I'm not swollen like a tick in the morning.

Kiln works! Cone 6!

First crack of the lid this morning!

Well, that anxiety trip is over. (I should qualify that and wait until the electric bill arrives) My first glaze firing is done and it was successful. For the most part. I hit cone 6 but just. The glazes all fluxed but I think they could have done with a longer soak so I think next time, I'll adjust the cone in the slot to get a harder firing. The witness cones at top and bottom fired pretty evenly and cone 6 is over but just, just half way and cone 7 didn't even budge. I'd like to see cone 6 more committed and cone 7 just about tipping. But everything looks good. I did a whole bunch of different glazes, a bit like a kiln load of test tiles on functional work, just to try out ideas, color combos and re-acquaint myself with the glazes I have on hand.

Drinking cups ready to be listed!

     One thing I tried out this time were some underglazes in a range of colors just to get the feel of using them and seeing what my brush technique looks like. I also included some test tiles of slips with a clear overglaze for reference. Next up will be combos and eventually I think I'll settle on some ones that I enjoy. I did test a tile of slip from the ground in the horses pasture. I call it Sand Hill slip. Straight out of the ground, mixed with water and sieved, it comes out this deep brown semi-gloss. But strangely, when I applied a clear overglaze, the overglaze stripped the color out of the slip leaving almost an antique look. I think I may have to experiment with this a bit more!

Underglaze fun

     I played around with dotting and swirling the inside of the pots for fun. I think more for me than anything else.

Swirls and dots, ice cream and coffee!

     Tomorrow I'm out of the studio running some errands but by the evening, I'll be back working on glazing the sugar and creamer pots and starting on some tea pots. My latest sculpture is finished and drying for the kiln. Friday will be photo day and the Etsy listing will begin! It's about time!

What's your routine?

The Co-Dependent Seeker, (right foreground on stand) Dogwood Art Festival 2011, Knoxville, TN

I love variety but I also need structure. Even when I'm feeling spontaneous and about to burst from boredom, I still gravitate towards some kind of sameness within the madness. This year is my first year after school that I've dedicated myself to my work as a professional. What kind of routine am I developing so far?
     I've had only a couple of shows, the Dogwood Art Festival this past April in Knoxville, TN and this upcoming one in Stockton, CA at the LH Horton Gallery at San Joaquin Delta College. I've also gotten a small presence on Etsy and I'm getting ready to do my first glaze firing in my kiln plus a salt firing at EKU in a couple of weeks. After that, I'll be participating in the Richmond Pottery Festival in Richmond, KY again this year. Things are picking up slowly yet I still get frustrated by the pace of my progress. Should I be? I mean really much of this has been about getting used to the routine of being a full-time artist and artisan. Thinking about all the parts needed makes me dizzy and overwhelmed when I list the ones that come to me off the top of my head, inspiration, incubation, designing, making, glazing, firing, cutting, turning, gluing, constructing, finishing, cleaning, mixing, researching, connecting, blogging, tweeting, marketing, learning, bookkeeping, accounting, strategizing and finding time to do the household things in between all that and not feel neglectful, guilty and absent. So, in retrospect, so far, I'm realizing that I've been adding each piece this year as I get more comfortable with all of it and I slide into a routine of my own. That may leave me the opportunity next year to add more applications to shows, add more inventory, add more marketing, add more festivals and outlets for my work to be seen.

Upcoming show, Stockton, CA; Grounded Flight

I dunno. It still overwhelms me but I suppose that's why wine and coffee exist.
     Having said all that, I do try to add things into my daily routine that keep me feeling focused and energized. What are the kinds of things that people do, independent professionals, to keep them steady on the forward track?
     For me, my day starts early in the morning, feeding the animals. In many ways, the fact that they need food each morning and that they rely on me to give it to them keeps me disciplined and gets me out of bed. Otherwise, I can comfortable see having days where I negotiate with myself that I don't really need to get out of bed...not today. So chalk one up for cats, dogs and horses!

Possum

     After that, it's the oatmeal and double cappuccino hit for breakfast followed by computer time to check the news, correspond, blog, tweet, list new items, do bookkeeping, shipping and any other office work. I give myself about 2 hours between 7:15 to about 9:15 for all of that and then it's out to the studio to figure out what happens first out there.
     When I do get out to the studio (followed by some of my dogs and cats who love to come in and sleep while I work) the radio goes on first. Every once in a while I find it necessary to have quiet, nature quiet, to gather my energy and focus, but for the most part, I like to have something on in the background and my taste varies from day to day between classical, opera, Bollywood, blues, independent rock, and old soul and R&B. If I could find even more eclectic music from around the world like traditional Tibetan, Indonesian, Japanese, you name it, that would be terrific but for now, Aretha Franklin is helping things along.
     I'll work for hours until mid-day and lunch, go back to the house for food and maybe to fuss with the horses, check email, Etsy and so on, and then back out to the studio until my husband gets home. When he does, I usually quit for the day so I can spend some time with him. He works weird hours so I take what I can get. Dinner, relax and then in the evening, after my husband goes off to bed, three times a week, I'm doing yoga and taking time to meditate for a few minutes. Getting back into yoga has been such a boost to my discipline. I'm terrible when it comes to sticking to any kind of physical routine but for some reason, even if I'm not so sure I want to do yoga that evening, a few warm up poses and I find myself pushing and challenging myself and before I know it, another yoga hour has passed. By then, I'll either wrap up my day with final emails or Etsy work, maybe another short stint in the studio and then usually, a list of what I need to remember to do the next day.
     And then I do it all over again.
     Yup, looking back so far, I think I'm chugging right along. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Visions in Clay 2011

Well, I was lucky enough to get one of my pieces into a juried show in Stockton, CA at the LH Horton Jr. Gallery at San Joaquin Delta College, curated by Judith Schwartz, head of Sculpture and Craft Madia, professor of Art and Art Education at NYU's Steinhardt School of Culture, Education and Human Development. The piece is Grounded Flight, below. I'm also lucky enough to be showing with fellow artists Lyndsey Fryman, Hunter Stamps and Gerard Justin Ferrari.

If you are around the Stockton, CA area from August 18 - Sept. 15th, stop by and check out the work!

Grounded Flight, 2010, Stoneware, mixed media

Kentucky Made

New treasury on Etsy that includes some cool things by Kentucky makers... including one of my mugs!

WOO!

Nodes

My ex husband and I used to discuss this phenomenon, the idea of "nodes" in road traffic. Waves travel in nodes, a trough and a peak. Bunch a few of them together and when they climb all over each other, the wave can get bigger or the waves bunch together. I've experienced this at the beach as waves pile on each other, one after another and then it seems they all group as one big wave or wide push of water and then whoooosh! It knocks you over with a long sweep and then all is quieter as the water recedes into it's regular rhythm until maybe a boat motors by, adding waves to the waves and you get another crowd of energy. We used to wonder about interstate traffic. Why do you get congestion when there is no accident to speak of, just volume, when theoretically, everyone is traveling the same speed and using the proper signals and turn lanes? How come, when travelling on the interstate, you get times when you're stuck in the middle lane with people coming up around you from both sides and yet other times, it's empty in front of you and behind you? So we theorized that the traffic worked in nodes. Sometimes, due to a collection of small factors, those small factors pile up and suddenly, you're in a crowd on an otherwise empty interstate.

I have concluded that life events also work out that way from time to time. Since I put my dog down, I feel like I've hit a node of "things that are a pain in the ass." Of course, it's not "All Bad" so there's always a little positive to balance things out, however, I feel like I'm in the midst of a bad node. After the euthanasia, I messed up not one but two orders from my Etsy site out of sheer distraction and grief. Silver lining? The customers involved are fantastic and it is slowly getting squared away. During this time, I had to take a trip back to NY to see the folks who are getting older. Old. They are old. They need assistance but are reluctant. Dad is still driving but shouldn't be. Oh boy. It's always good to go back to see friends in NY but the trip was so short in relation to people I'd love to have seen and places I'd love to have visited. Then comes the bill and we spend way more than we expect. Okay, let me think about that. We always spend way more than we expect so maybe our expectations are consistently false expectations. I mean, really? Go back to NY and spend only $300? Who am I kidding? Gas alone costs that much. So the trip was good and yet stressful. The Etsy is good and yet stressful. I'm home, all will even out, yes?

Not quite, still in the node, apparently. I'm at home, all ready to tackle my work again, fresh start, new energy and... laptop crashes with all my work on it. And all my photos from NY. Bad crash. BAD. Hanging blue screen. No response. Have I backed up? Do you really need to ask that question? I wouldn't be writing this blog post if I had. Okay, more money out the door, money we don't have but IT'S AN INVESTMENT, right? Get the hard drive, plug in the firewire, get set to copy files and... can't get the files to show on the hard drive. In single user mode I'm getting i/o errors. I'm afraid to run disk utility and repair because I know what it's going to say so all I want to do is back up what I have so I can erase and reformat the drive. So here's the kicker: I can't get the back up to work. Not even manually dragging files across the network using the laptop in hard drive mode with a firewire connection. I'm speechless with frustration.

It's hot, humid, bad heat wave. Little things need to be attended to on the farm and the heat makes it difficult not to mention the time that computer issues eat up so, I find I am in a node. With all nodes, they eventually run out of energy and flatten out so while I am stressed, I also know this can't go on indefinitely. Still, it does make me tired. Silver lining? I am backing up my desktop computer finally!

I think this is why drinking becomes popular.

My studio, she's esploded!

My life, currently.

After putting my dog down, I gave myself the time and space to grieve and just let whatever happened, happen. Part stillness, part crying, part meditating, part distracting myself with silliness, part working and eventually I find I can reflect and find some calm space for myself. Most of my method has centered around getting back to work and immersing myself in my art again.
     And so, off to the studio and into the midst of the projects I put aside while I wrestled with the decision about Diva. Initially, I didn't concern myself with the mess or what I should have been doing first, I just sat down and worked on the thing in front of me and committed to completing it. When I was done with that piece, I moved onto the next one and finished that. Moved onto the next and finished that. And so on.* However, today I looked around my studio and realized I'd hit a messy fork in the road, a clog in the creative artery, a dip in the smooth ride. Projects piled on projects, glaze containers stacked on each other, kiln shelves ready to be used, greenware in one container, bisqueware in another but needing to be cleaned and dried, gourd badges half done, open notebooks with notes and sketches scattered, loose leaf paper with lists lying about (You know things are bad when loose leaf paper makes an appearance) and barely room to move. It's gotten so bad, in order to do anything, I have to move things around like those little tile finger games with the one square missing, just to make the space to work.
     This happens to me from time to time and the cacophony of stuff and ideas racing around saps my creative energy and can get me depressed to the point where I become unproductive and inefficient - at least as far as I'm concerned. With all the emotion surrounding Diva dying, no sense exacerbating things. There's happy chaos, which is just fine, and then there is chaos chaos=bad. So I'm taking a break until mid-July to clean, straighten, reorganize and prioritize what's going on in my creative corner. And then we're ready for the second half of the year!

*(hat tip to Vonnegut)